top of page

IT CAN’T BE

SQUIRE OF ZELENNE

Phony! Charlatans! The dark cloud

is a sign!!! Succumb to the will of

the Prophecy!

ZEALOT #5

It is you who killed the true

Chosen One! He lies dead at your

feet!!

SPECTATOR #5

What’s wrong with all you lunatics?

ZEALOT #6

YOU ALL BLASPHEME!

SCENE TRANSITION

ZEALOT #7

We follow the one true prophet.

ZEALOT #8

Our champion was unjustly defeated

by a bloviating fraud.

SPECTATOR #6

You are both stupid as dog turds.

It’s just a game.

I do love a good riot, however.

SPECTATOR #7

We’ve got to get out of here.

ZEALOT #8

You will be judged for your

insolence!

SPECTATOR #6

This is the best tournament ever!!

SPECTATOR #7

Help! Somebody help!

I’m...bleeding? I just want to go

home!

ZEALOT #7

All that’s happening is the true

champion fulfilling the Prophecy.

(MORE)

SPECTATOR #7

Which...Prophecy... Which one,

which one do I choose?

SCENE TRANSITION

LINUS

Uh...is this normal?

ANN

No.

HAL

I have never seen everyone charge

the arena before. Look, the stands

are almost all empty at this point.

(Laughing) But, that dark

cloud?...I... I don’t like this...

BIG ZEALOT

It’s a sign!!!! For the chosen

one!!! AAAAAAAA!!

LINUS

Ann!

ANN

I see him.

BIG ZEALOT

Uuuugh!

LINUS

Well...he’s dead...he landed on his

own sword...

ANN

Well...that was not my plan.

HAL

This is all wrong. Where is

Vorlauf?

SCENE TRANSITION

SQUIRE OF ZELENNE

No champion but ZELENNE! We are

nothing without the Prophecy...

...This dagger stands as proof of

our Prophecy’s testament.

SQUIRE OF ZELENNE (CONT'D)

No man, no matter his skills in

combat, will thwart the will of

what has been written. And, so It

shall be--oof!!

No...No, It can’t be...PLEASE!!

ARRGHHHHH!

CROWD

(Gasps)

SPECTATOR #8

It can’t be!! No...no...I just saw

you... you were...

SPECTATOR #9

You...You were just...You were

just...

SPECTATOR #8

He was..

ISTEN

What...what happened?

ZEALOT #9

You...you’ve killed our squire...

ISTEN

What? No, I...how...?

AAAAH!

ZEALOT #10

He must be...He is the One...

CROWD

(Cheers)

ISTEN

I...I...I?

ZEALOT #11

Isten has Risen!

SPECTATOR #9

HE IS THE ONE!

SCENE BRAKE

KARRAS

Humm.... Formosa?

FORMOSA

Yes...Yes, I hear It Karras. I

don’t care. I want nothing more to

do with that tournament.

KARRAS

But... but you can’t, you can’t

just sit here all night.

FORMOSA

It doesn’t matter, Karras. I just

want to be left alone.

KARRAS

(Grunts)

SCENE BRAKE

HAL

How can you say that!!!!

ANN

Hal, he could not have been dead!!

Look at him!!

HAL

YOU SAW HIM! Stabbed, impaled,

penetrated. Outside object on the

inside! Inside objects on the

outside.

ANN

So what are you saying?! Eh?!

LINUS

Well he certainly looks like he’s

got the crowd’s attention.

HAL

SHUT YOU GOB! Where is Vorlauf?

ANN

Alright “Halbert”, you need to calm

down. Why don’t you go punch

someone in the face? That always

makes you feel better...or getting

punched, I never remember which.

LINUS

Halbert?

HAL

You have been told to shut your

gob!

ANN

Look, I’m just saying, we met

Isten, right? He’s a Fribble. He’s

a squirmy, lying, cheating,

duplicitous...

HAL

Ooooo, nice word.

ANN

...little rat muffin. Would you

really put It past him to pull

something like this to be “The

Chosen One?” Come on.

HAL

Okay...that’s a good point.

ANN

If this were magic A) there’s no

chance Vorlauf wouldn’t detect It

with his... what ever he has. And

B) I mean... SOMEONE else would

dictate It to right? .

LINUS

Umm...People...

HAL

Who are you? “Duplicitous?”

Arguments I can get behind? I’m

liking this Ann.

ANN

That was a ‘ad hominem’ compliment,

I believe.

LINUS

Seriously, Ann!

HAL

I’m not sure It works like that,

but, if this new Ann says It, then

I accept It!

LINUS

HALBERT!

HAL

WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME?!

LINUS

Look! All the other champions!!

ANN

...they...they all got up...

HAL

I don’t think this is a trick...

ANN

WHERE IS VORLAUF?!

SCENE BRAKE

KARRAS

(Grunts)

I’m sorry. I don’t like what’s

happened.

FORMOSA

Me neither. I’m as much of a

monster as every Vigile I’ve sworn

to protect my people from. What

kind of protector am I? I’m an

imposter.

KARRAS

No! Isten is an imposter.

FORMOSA

I’m a worst kind. The kind that

didn’t even know they were one...

KARRAS

Isten is the kind that is also a

pile of horse droppings.

FORMOSA

(Chuckles)

Yeah...You have a point there...

wouldn’t even shock me if he

somehow won the stupid thing. Can

you imagine?

“Were the situation similar to a

hypothetical romp, I’d be,

nonetheless enamored with such a

proposition.”

KARRAS

(Laughing)

Yes! Yes! He is dumb!

FORMOSA

In his way, yes, very dumb.

At least someone is enjoying

themselves...It sounds like

someone’s been chosen.

KARRAS

We should look for Ora and Kevin.

FORMOSA

They’ll find us.

KARRAS

What about the loud boomings?

FORMOSA

Even more reason to stay put.

KARRAS

Hey, let us see who won!

FORMOSA

Karras, I really don’t...

KARRAS

I told Kevin I would try and get

you to the tournament to cheer you

up.

FORMOSA

What? Why did you do that?!

KARRAS

I wanted to cheer you up...

FORMOSA

I know, but...

Alright, let’s go find Ora and

Kevin. It’s been longer then I

would have expected It to be

anyway.

KARRAS

Haha YES!

FORMOSA

Don’t get too excited. The moment

we have Kevin and Ora back we are

leaving.

KARRAS

YES YES YES YES!!!

SCENE BRAKE

CUT TO:

LOYAL ZEALOT

Move! Excuse me. Move, move. Move.

Oh great Zelenne! I knew It! It was

you! You were brought back for you

are the Chosen One!

ZELENNE

(breathing)

LOYAL ZEALOT

Oh what will you have us do?!

Master? Oh master, please forgive

me!

Your might was never questioned.

ZELENNE

(grunts)

LOYAL ZEALOT

He is whole once more!!

ZELENNE

Uuuuuuunnng...

LOYAL ZEALOT

UGHH..... Mas... master...?...Why?!

SPECTATORS

(scream)

SPECTATOR #11

Run...Run!!

SCENE BRAKE

ANN

I don’t see Vorlauf down there, do

you?

HAL

Linus will find him.

ANN

I still think this is some trick.

HAL

Really? Well it’s a damn good trick

then...

ANN

Do you find It a little strange

that we are still sitting here

watching? Everyone else seemed to

have the foresight to run away...

HAL

It seems like the safest place. All

the Risers are down there...

killing everyone. Vorlauf knows we

are here if he’s looking for us.

Plus, this is the best goddamn

tournament I’ve ever seen. I

mean...the guy won, got

backstabbed, then returned and won

again. If that guy isn’t the

prophet then I’d almost say these

Prophecies were all bullshit.

ANN

It is bullshit, Hal.

HAL

Oh, come now! Isn’t It more fun to

believe It? That’s a hell of a

story.

ANN

You don’t believe this shit!

HAL

Who says?

ANN

If you did you would be wigging out

right now.

HAL

Yeah...I guess you’re right. But

I’d love to be--

LINUS

ANN! HAL!!

ANN

Did you find him?!

LINUS

LOOK!!

ANN

Ugh. Never even a little helpful,

are ya’?

HAL

Honestly, man, can you not just be

useful for a bloody moment?

LINUS

LOOK OUT!!

BIG ZEALOT

AAAAAAAA

HAL

What the...?!

ANN

But...but you...

HAL

Still think it’s a trick?

ANN

What do we do?

HAL

Kill It!!

ANN

I THOUGHT I ALREADY HAD!!!

LINUS

AAA UGH! Everything...everything is

getting back up. Nothing dead...is

staying dead! Not just the

tournament people. Once they kill

someone, that person gets up!

ANN

How...we...what?

HAL

Pull It together! Let’s go, follow

me!

LINUS

NO! We can’t go that way. The

stadium doors are funnels to get

killed.

ANN

We gotta’ find Vorlauf!

LINUS

We have to jump the wall into the

forest. I don’t think there’s

another way out.

HAL

Don't be stupid. How do you expect

us to get back in, huh?!

What...?

ANN

I THINK THEY HAVE BIGGER ISSUES

THEN TO KEEP US OUT, YOU TOADTONGUED

WASTE OF SPACE!!!

HAL

Oh.

LINUS

Come on, this way...

SCENE TRANSITION

SPECTATOR #12

Help us!! Please help us.

ZEALOT #11

The prophet raises the dead! He is

punishing us for not believing!

SPECTATOR #13

Kill him again! It will stop the

attacks.

SPECTATOR #14

Kill him again!

ISTEN

No! I am the Chosen One! I am here

to protect... This is the doing

of...

ZEALOT #12

We must...We must not run!

ZEALOT #14

Run you fool!

ZEALOT #12

We must not fight! He will protect

us if we believe!

ISTEN

No!! I am...

DEAD LUSUS NATURAE

(Screech!)

ISTEN

Run. THE CHOSEN ONE COMMANDS YOU TO

RUN!

SCENE BRAKE

KEVIN

Ora...Ora... wait...I can’t...I

can’t...

ORA

Fine.

KEVIN

Ow!

ORA

Sorry. We can rest for a minute,

but we’ve gotta’ find Formosa and

Karras.

KEVIN

I know...I know.

KEVIN (CONT'D)

So, so what happened back there?

Did that guy recognize you?

ORA

Yes. From both the bar and the

fight with Godrick’s family.

He has a very twisted view of the

world, let’s just say that.

KEVIN

Well, don’t worry, looks like you

took him out.

ORA

I...I don’t know what happened?

KEVIN

Ha. You beat the essence out of him

is what happened.

ORA

No. No, I didn’t. Something else

happened, you heard the explosion!

KEVIN

Yeah? So?

ORA

It was not me! I mean...at least I

did not mean to...I think?

KEVIN

What? What are you talking about?

ORA

I DON’T KNOW!! All I know is that

Vorlauf was about to kill me and

then, somehow, a blast saved me. I

didn’t “DO” anything and there was

no one around.

It was...It was just like...magic?

KEVIN

What...well...maybe...maybe that

wisp that Formosa sent was

protecting you. That could be,

right?

ORA

He...He killed It. Without even a

flinch.

KEVIN

Well, there ya’ go! She said that

they are magic and you shouldn’t

kill them, right. Maybe It explodes

when you do or something! Maybe the

forest sent an exploding bird or

something. Who knows... I don’t

think It was you.

ORA

Maybe...but that would have been

really good timing. It was more

like...like when Godrick and I...

DEAD LUSUS NATURAE

(Roar)

ORA

Oh my...

KEVIN

That does not sound good.

ORA

No, It does not. We can worry about

things later. We’ve got to go find

Formosa and Karras.

SCENE BRAKE

CUT TO:

SPECTATOR #14

Great Isten! Help us. Make It stop!

ISTEN

I did not do this! But I...

...would not concern yourself with

why at the moment!

SPECTATOR #15

It all started with you!!

You rose and then you rose everyone

else! You are The One!

SPECTATOR #16

(Spanish)

I can take care of these over here.

SPECTATOR #14

And why should I not concern myself

with It?!

ISTEN

Because we are all going to die!

SPECTATOR #17

Make It stop!!

ISTEN

There! Over there! A break!

SPECTATOR #18

Don’t leave us!

SPECTATOR #19

Where are you go....AAAAAA!

SPECTATOR #20

NOO!! You coward! Stand and fight

with us!!

ISTEN

Run, you simple fools!

DEAD LUSUS NATURAE

(growl)

ISTEN

What? Why?!

TRICKSTER SPECTATOR

Isten! Over here! I know what to

do! There’s a way out!

ISTEN

Where?! Where do you see It?!

TRICKSTER SPECTATOR

Over here! Come back to us!

Yes, over here!!!

ISTEN

I don’t see anything.

TRICKSTER SPECTATOR

It’s you!

ISTEN

What is...? UGH...

Wha...?!

TRICKSTER SPECTATOR

(crying)

It started with you. It must end

with you. It must! It has to end!

Demons of Hell!! Your leader is

dead!! Return there!! PLEASE LEAVE

US ALONE!!

AAAAAH! What...how...where is your

bloo...AAAAAAA

ISTEN

Uuuunnnggg!

SPECTATOR #16

(Scream)

Profit Isten what have you done!

ISTEN

What...? I didn’t...that was not

me...

SPECTATOR #23

He is one of them! The Chosen One

is of the dead!

ISTEN

It...No!

SPECTATOR #22

They’re multiplying! Look!

ISTEN

Oh no....everything killed becomes

part of their army!

The wall! Climb the wall to the

seats! Hurry!

SCENE BRAKE

HAL

Vorlauf!

It’s Hal!

Your friend!

LINUS

What makes you think he’s here? He

could have gone anywhere.

ANN

The flash of light.

LINUS

I don’t know what that means.

HAL

Ignore It. It’s a bunch of Malarky.

ANN

That first flash of light we saw

during the fighting. If It was

magic, Vorlauf would have headed

for It. I think It was in this

direction.

LINUS

If?

HAL

See? Utter horse shit.

ANN

Fine. What do you suggest?

HAL

Umm...

VORLAUF. IT’S ME, HAL. YOUR BEST

PAL.

SCENE BRAKE

VORLAUF

(groaning)

HAL

VORLAUF. VORLAUF!

ANN

Would you shut up?!

HAL

At least I’m trying!

VORLAUF

Ughhh, yes! Shut up!

ANN

Vorlauf!

VORLAUF

Ughh...uhhh.

ANN

What happened here?

LINUS

Glad you’re safe, Vorlauf!

HAL

I found you! See, Ann? My calls

worked.

VORLAUF

The Prophecies.

ANN

What about them?

VORLAUF

Ugh.... Move... Damn

Where is she?

HAL

Ann’s right there, Vorlauf. Damn,

you really musta’ taken some licks.

VORLAUF

I was one breath away from ending

that girl who I’ve now met three

times.

ANN

And she took the Prophecies? Who

cares?

VORLAUF

She did, but that’s not my concern.

ANN

What did she do? It’s not like you

to lose a fight.

VORLAUF

Someone or something saved her.

LINUS

Did you see who It was?

VORLAUF

No.

Because they used magic.

ANN

You don’t think it’s the same...

VORLAUF

Can’t be sure. But, we have a job

to do now, don’t we, now?

SCENE BRAKE

KARRAS

The first thing I’m gonna do when I

see Ora is hug her.

FORMOSA

Great plan. But, we gotta move fast

because I don’t know what’s

happening at the arena, but--

DEAD LUSUS NATURAE

(screech)

KARRAS

Hey, I...I thought that thing died.

FORMOSA

It did.

Shit.

END OF EPISODE 20

bottom of page