
THE TOURNAMET BEGINS
ANNOUNCER
Welcome, welcome, welcome! The...
Pss. You there.
HORN PLAYER
What?
ANNOUNCER
Play!
HORN PLAYER
Oh, the horn? Just a moment. I got
to breathe in a bit to play. Well,
that’s how I do It anyways.
(BURPS)
Whoops. Surprised myself.
ANNOUNCER
Would you just--
CROWD
(Cheer)
ANNOUNCER
WELCOME TO THE TOURNAMENT!
The time has come once again to
determine who is...the Chosen One.
CROWD
(Cheer)
ANNOUNCER
Many have claimed the mantle, but
precious few have proven their
mettle. And thus far NONE have
proved themselves worthy of the
title. One fighter. One Prophecy...
One Chosen Champion!
CROWD
(Cheer)
ANNOUNCER
Alright, alright quiet down. The
rules are thus: round one, hand-tohand
combat in a series of one-onone
duels. Upon victory, It is
customary to show mercy to the
vanquished. It is, however, up to
the victor as to just how merciful
this event shall be.
CROWD
(Cheer)
ANNOUNCER
Round two consists of a secret
challenge. Not a single fighter
knows what the challenge will be.
It is sealed in a locked crate and
buried beneath the arena, only to
be retrieved when round one is
complete. It is not always a purely
physical challenge. Some may
remember bridge building challenge.
It was the most deadly secret
challenge in the history of the
tournament.
CROWD
(Cheer)
ANNOUNCER
And... the final round...
BATTLE. ROYALE.
CROWD
(Cheer)
ANNOUNCER
LET THE TOURNAMENT BEGIN.
SCENE BRAKE
JAILER
There we are. All snug as a bug in
a rug...(laughs) in a cage.
(laughs)
FORMOSA
It’s starting.
JAILER
The tournament? Thats right!
KEVIN
This is no way to treat guests.
JAILER
I agree! Good thing you aren’t
guests.
ORA
You have to let us go.
JAILER
No. No I don’t.
ORA
You’ll be sorry.
JAILER
I’m sure I will be, but until then
I’m going to be sleeping.
ORA
Ugh.
FORMOSA
I think we’re going to be here a
while...
SCENE BRAKE
GARION
(spits)
Is that all you got?
ZELENNE
Find out.
GARION
(laughs)
Arrrrgghhhhhh!!!
ZELENNE
Ooof!
ZELENNE (CONT'D)
WHO DARES CHALLENGE THE CHOSEN
ONE?!
GARION
NUUUHHH!! (laughs)
ZELENNE
Submit. Submit to me now and you
may be shown mercy.
GARION
You talk quite a bit don’t you!
ZEALOT #1
THE ONE! OUR SAVIOR!
ZEALOT #2
SUBMIT! HE WHO IS CHOSEN!
ZELENNE
Ahhhh!!
CROWD ZEALOT
Your The One Your The one!
GARION
HE DOES NOT SUBMIT? THE GALL!
ZELENNE
Oooof!
GARION
Oh yes...By all means take your
time.
ZELENNE
Do you take this to be a mere
pageant?
GARION
Huh? What’s that? Speak up, pretty
boy.
ZELENNE
You. Will. Learn. Coward.
GARION
Choose your words well, lad. You
don’t have many left.
ZELENNE
We shall see.
Ugh!!!
GARION
Ugh, you coward, let go of my leg.
ZELENNE
Gladly.
GARION
Ahhhhhhh!
Alright, enough! Enough, I said!
ZELENNE
Choose your words well, lad. You
don’t have many left.
GARION
I’m laying down my arms. I submit!
Its over.
ZELENNE
Stay down.
True believers!! What say you?!
ZEALOTS
FINISH HIM! / END HIM! / SLAY THE
FALSE PROPHET! / NO MAN SHALL CROSS
THE CHOSEN AND LIVE!!
ZELENNE
So be It.
GARION
I concede!! I’m no threat to you!
You need not do this.
ZELENNE
You, have desecrated the
prophecies. You have no truth and
no honor, but you have proven to
me, this is a spectacle of
sorts...so you will understand.
GARION
No please, I will follow you.
You are the Chosen One!!
ZELENNE
Yes, I am.
ANNOUNCER
ZELENNE IS YOUR CHAMPION! HE
PROCEEDS TO THE NEXT ROUND!!
THE CROWD
ZE-LENNE! ZE-LENNE! ZE-LENNE!
SCENE BRAKE
JAILER
Ahh, tails.
Shit.
KEVIN
Many you should go back to sleep.
JAILER
Piss off.
KEVIN
Hey Jailer. Buddy? Who’s ZELENNE?
JAILER
Piss...off.
KEVIN
Who do you think he is?
ORA
I don’t care. What difference does
It make?
KEVIN
I think It matters. I mean, we’re
here, right? I kinda wanna’ know
whats going on.
ORA
I’m sure it’s not over yet.
KEVIN
I imagine this ZELENNE fellow is a
handsome, princely-type. The
people’s champion; kind,
compassionate, beloved. A man not
without his flaws, but humble in
the face of...
FORMOSA
Want to put money on It?
KEVIN
Oh Jailer? Who’s ZELENNE?
JAILER
Call It and I’ll tell you.
KEVIN
Oh no. I hate this. Um--
ORA
Tails.
JAILER
Lucky guess.
ZELENNE is one of this year’s
Zealot champions. That’s why
they’re so loud.
FORMOSA
Zealot champions?
JAILER
True believers. They’re like this
every year.
Real pain in my ass, too.
KEVIN
You hear that, Ora? They’re here
every year. You can’t take any of
this seriously?
ORA
All that I see is that I dragged
you all the way here only to find
this...this...whatever this is!
Everyone says they’re here to
“choose” a Chosen One, but most of
the people don’t even believe in
the Prophecy!
JAILER
Spoken like a true Zealot.
ORA
NO! It just means I’m an idiot for
believing any of the things about
the prophecy I’ve been told.
JAILER
HA ha! Well, I’m not in the habit
of disagreeing with people who say
thats that are true.
KEVIN
You’re not helping.
ORA
It’s fine, Kevin. oof. Look, I
appreciate you trying to help, but
this is about the worst I’ve ever
felt in my entire life.
Why did I do this to you? Why did I
do this to myself?
KEVIN
Stop It! Have you seen me? I’m
strong now.
And I can fight now, too!
Ah! Gah! Ooooooh... that... was not
smart.
JAILER
I wouldn’t fight the walls, kid.
They’ve bested better men than you.
ORA
That’s probably good advice.
JAILER
A’yup...
I know what it’s like.
(spits)
I used to buy into all the Prophecy
business before I got hooked up
with this job.
KEVIN
Really?
JAILER
Sure did. But now... I don’t know,
after seeing eight of these
tournaments, I’ve got my doubts.
KEVIN
There’s been EIGHT of these?
JAILER
(Chuckles)
No.
KEVIN
But you said...
JAILER
This is the tenth. I didn’t start
working till the third year.
FORMOSA
And you have them every year?
JAILER
Once a year, every year.
You know, when you say It like
that, It does sound a little silly
doesn't It. Having a tournament
EVERY YEAR to determine who is the
one true prophet.
KEVIN
Maybe you just haven’t had the
right champion yet.
JAILER
Works out nicely for business,
don’t It? We keep searching for the
‘right’ champion and I keep working
the jail every year.
ORA
What about the Zealots? Don’t they
get discouraged?
JAILER
Naw! Every year they all file in
‘ere with a half-dozen champions,
all of ‘em convinced they’s found
the One. If you’re comfortable
being called a ‘zealot’ I don’t
think you’re gonna let something as
minor as your prophecy feeling
wrong-ish get in your way. Heard
tell they’ll even tweak the
Prophecies to fit their strongest
fighters.
ORA
Tweak a Prophecy?
KEVIN
You can’t do that!
JAILER
They can and they do.
Shit...
All in the pursuit of the precious
Chosen One.
KEVIN
And they keep coming even though
their Prophecies keeps being wrong?
JAILER
(laughs)
Keep coming?
(laughs)
There’s more and more of ‘em every
year. And every year they get more
and more nuts.
Shit eaters, the lot of ‘em. They’r
usually who I get stuck talking to
in here.
ORA
But why? Why do they keep doing It
if the results are the same?
JAILER
Some people say there all under a
spell. Me? I got my own theory.
ORA
What?
JAILER
Listen, most people’s lives are
pretty shit, right now, right? Not
everybody gets to be the tournament
jailer - I know this. So, if your
life is shit, you don’t have any
real way of making It better, BUT
then you hear there’s this thing
that promises to make It incredibly
not shit. What are you gonna do?
Accept wall-to-wall shit? Or, maybe
you’re gonna believe in something
because the only alternative is--
ORA
Shit.
JAILER
Call It kid.
KEVIN
Heads.
JAILER
Hm...(Laughs) Looks like she’s
smarter than you.
SCENE BRAKE
LINUS
Ugh, excuse me, coming through.
That’s yours... What was all that
chanting? What’d I miss? Here.
ANN
Bloody Zealots.
LINUS
What’s a “zealot?”
VORLAUF
We’re not doing this again.
HAL
There’s two types’a people in this
world, Fuller.
ANN
Hal and everybody else.(Laughs)
HAL
‘ey! I’m tryin’ to be nice.
ANN
Nobody says ‘there’s two kinds of
people in this world’ unless
they’re completely full of shit.
VORLAUF
The Zealots believe, truly believe,
that their champion is a god. Not
just a man, a god.
HAL
Like I was just about to say!
And, this year, the biggest group
of them think ZELENNE is their’s as
far as they see It.
LINUS
What about everybody else?
HAL
There are smaller groups of Zealots
with different champions. Like,
some are with that woman, Lyanora,
from earlier. There’s a handful of
champions with a smatterin’ of
followers. And by the end of this
thing, all those groups will fight
each other in the streets.
LINUS
So all these fighters...?
HAL
Nah, most of the fighters are
Mercenaries. Former
Vigiles...future Vigiles.
VORLAUF
It’s purely for money and the sport
of It. If a combatant survives, he
can make a decent living in service
of a benefactor.
ANN
The longer they last...
HAL
The bigger the starting salary.
(MORE)
LINUS
And if you lose they probably just
kill you?
Like that guy?
VORLAUF
The Zealots often fight to the
death. Bit of a chip on their
shoulder about people claiming to
be “The One” when they aren’t.
Ironic, isn’t It?
HAL
Hey, Ann? You hear what I said?
Future Vigiles?
ANN
Yeah, hilarious.
HAL
...got a bit of trivia for ya’.
This tournament is where we found
Ann.
LINUS
Really?
ANN
Oh right it’s a great story. I was
here. Vorlauf was here. Vorlauf
said, “Here’s money to be a
Vigile.” And I said, “Okay.”
There. Happy?
VORLAUF
She was ferocious. Could have won
the whole thing.
ANN
Can we talk about something else?
HAL
Don’t be so modest, Ann.
You would not believe how many
Zealots this one killed. Took one
look at those true believers and
said “I got your Prophecy right
here”. (Laughs)
They was all “Please, don’t do It!
I pledge myself to you, mysterious
warrior!” Didn’t matta’. She cut
‘em down.
HAL (CONT'D)
Weren’t for Vorlauf here, she’d
have even more pelts on her wall.
So to speak.
VORLAUF
Really, Ann, it’s nothing to be
ashamed of. You made the smart
decision. This is wonderful
theater, but it’s no way to make a
living. These fools and their
Prophecies...embarrassing.
ANN
Nothing wrong with believing in
something.
HAL
But these Zealots? Oh Come on!
Couldn’t have made them look more
foolish. Not only that, but by
leaving for the money you proved
you wasn’t the Chosen One THEREFORE
proving that the ones you killed
wasn’t even killed by the Chosen
One neither! It’s all bloody
hysterical!
ANN
Yeah. Hilarious.
HAL AND LINUS
(laugh)
SCENE BRAKE
ISTEN
(Laughing)
Who, but I? Isten!
The Chosen One. (Laughs)
Ah, well. The disarmingly handsome
Chosen One. (chuckles)
KARRAS
You really like looking at that
mirror.
ISTEN
(startled)
What do you want?
KARRAS
Why did you leave me?
ISTEN
Leave you?
(chuckle)
That’s rich, Karras. You’re lucky
I’m just coming off a win in the
arena. Or did you forget that I’m
in the midst of a very important
tournament?
KARRAS
My horse died, Isten! Imogen died!!
And you left us...you Left us to
fend for ourselves against the
currupted.
ISTEN
I’m pretty sure that It was you
that abandoned me. Or are you
forgetting that you refused to help
me take the Prophecies? Prophecies
that were mine by right.
KARRAS
Well, it’s just...I-I couldn’t-
ISTEN
Right, exactly. You couldn’t.
Karras, I’ve got to say, this
tournament and my victory have
blessed me with new-found clarity.
KARRAS
I knew you would win.
ISTEN
Yes. And I now know a profound
truth: I am all I need.
And you, Karras, well, you are no
longer needed.
KARRAS
But...friends...
ISTEN
Sure, sure. But, I can no longer
trust you. So you no longer serve
any purpose, friend or not.
(deep inhale, exhale)
You understand, don’t you? It’s
just how It needs to be. If I’m
ever to fulfill my destiny I simply
must do It on my own.
(MORE)
KARRAS
So, that’s It? Goodbye, Karras?
ISTEN
Yes.
If It is any consolation, I am
pleased you are still alive.
Unless...
KARRAS
Yes?
ISTEN
While I do feel my truth is the
same, I hate to see you aimless and
without purpose. So, out of an
abundance of kindness, I suppose I
could think of one way you could
possibly regain your place by my
side.
KARRAS
Yes! Of course!
ISTEN
I’ve had a bit of trouble offloading
that second Prophecy. Turns
out demand inside the arena is not
as high as I would have hoped.
Anyway, there’s only one potential
buyer and they’ve made the
transaction rather...difficult.
KARRAS
You...You want me to kill them?
ISTEN
Oh, how you do enjoy going the
extra mile. No, in fact, I do want
to sell this man the Prophecy,
however, he refuses to meet me on
neutral ground. He insists that It
be brought to his camp, which is
full of his soldiers.
KARRAS
So it’s a trap.
ISTEN
It may be. But, that is a risk you
need to be willing to take for me,
Karras.
ISTEN (CONT'D)
I’m going to win this tournament,
and if you want to dwell in the
shadow of my glory, I need to know
you are willing to look past your
current, petty displeasure.
KARRAS
Sell It to him and bring back the
money?
ISTEN
Would the chosen one accept any
less?
KARRAS
Done.
ISTEN
And that was the last we ever saw
of Karras.
SCENE BRAKE
KEVIN
...but at least you agree that it’s
stupid to keep us in here, right?
JAILER
UGH! Don’t you ever stop talking?
I’m goin’ outside.
KEVIN
Wait you cant just leave! THERE’S,
THERE’S NOTHING TO DO IN HERE! ALL
WE HAVE IS THAT STUPID COIN! AND I
ALREADY HAD MY TURN!
ORA
The cheering is pretty loud.
KEVIN
Look, we’re gonna get out of here.
I promise. Just...follow my lead.
(Whistles “The Walking Song”)
See? Follow. My. Lead.
With the digging.
ORA
Look, I appreciate you trying but
we’re not getting out of here any
time soon. We’re done.
KEVIN
I don’t believe that. You believed
in me when I didn’t and I’m not
giving up yet.
ORA
Kevin, that’s nice, but I don’t
think digging a hole is--
KEVIN
HAHAH!
DON’T BE CRAZY, ORA! WE’RE JUST
HAVING A FUN STORY TIME! WE SURE
ARE GLAD THAT FAT, STUPID JAILER
LEFT SO WE CAN JUST ENJOY OURSELVES
WITHOUT HIS...WHOLE...UGLY FACE...
JAILER
Hey!
KEVIN
Oh, hi. Uh...you see, the point of
the story wasn’t that you’re fat,
so much as...
JAILER
Alright. You three, are good to go.
KEVIN
Oh... Well you are kind of fat.
FORMOSA
Why? What did we do?
KEVIN
Not that we aren’t upset we had our
time wasted in this place. But,
uhm, what happened?
KARRAS
Me squires! I was wondering what
may have happened to you.
KEVIN
Karras, what the hell are you doi--
ORA
Of course, sire. Thank you, sire.
There was a mix-up and without the
Prophecy as proof, nobody would
take our word.
JAILER
Look, most people say they’ve got a
Prophecy. It’s just most people are
liars. I’m...sorry, really, for the
mix-up
KARRAS
Come then. We’ve got a tournament
to win.
END OF EPISODE 16