THE TOURNAMET BEGINS

ANNOUNCER

Welcome, welcome, welcome! The...

Pss. You there.

HORN PLAYER

What?

ANNOUNCER

Play!

HORN PLAYER

Oh, the horn? Just a moment. I got

to breathe in a bit to play. Well,

that’s how I do It anyways.

(BURPS)

Whoops. Surprised myself.

ANNOUNCER

Would you just--

CROWD

(Cheer)

ANNOUNCER

WELCOME TO THE TOURNAMENT!

The time has come once again to

determine who is...the Chosen One.

CROWD

(Cheer)

ANNOUNCER

Many have claimed the mantle, but

precious few have proven their

mettle. And thus far NONE have

proved themselves worthy of the

title. One fighter. One Prophecy...

One Chosen Champion!

CROWD

(Cheer)

ANNOUNCER

Alright, alright quiet down. The

rules are thus: round one, hand-tohand

combat in a series of one-onone

duels. Upon victory, It is

customary to show mercy to the

vanquished. It is, however, up to

the victor as to just how merciful

this event shall be.

CROWD

(Cheer)

ANNOUNCER

Round two consists of a secret

challenge. Not a single fighter

knows what the challenge will be.

It is sealed in a locked crate and

buried beneath the arena, only to

be retrieved when round one is

complete. It is not always a purely

physical challenge. Some may

remember bridge building challenge.

It was the most deadly secret

challenge in the history of the

tournament.

CROWD

(Cheer)

ANNOUNCER

And... the final round...

BATTLE. ROYALE.

CROWD

(Cheer)

ANNOUNCER

LET THE TOURNAMENT BEGIN.

SCENE BRAKE

JAILER

There we are. All snug as a bug in

a rug...(laughs) in a cage.

(laughs)

FORMOSA

It’s starting.

JAILER

The tournament? Thats right!

KEVIN

This is no way to treat guests.

JAILER

I agree! Good thing you aren’t

guests.

ORA

You have to let us go.

JAILER

No. No I don’t.

ORA

You’ll be sorry.

JAILER

I’m sure I will be, but until then

I’m going to be sleeping.

ORA

Ugh.

FORMOSA

I think we’re going to be here a

while...

SCENE BRAKE

GARION

(spits)

Is that all you got?

ZELENNE

Find out.

GARION

(laughs)

Arrrrgghhhhhh!!!

ZELENNE

Ooof!

ZELENNE (CONT'D)

WHO DARES CHALLENGE THE CHOSEN

ONE?!

GARION

NUUUHHH!! (laughs)

ZELENNE

Submit. Submit to me now and you

may be shown mercy.

GARION

You talk quite a bit don’t you!

ZEALOT #1

THE ONE! OUR SAVIOR!

ZEALOT #2

SUBMIT! HE WHO IS CHOSEN!

ZELENNE

Ahhhh!!

CROWD ZEALOT

Your The One Your The one!

GARION

HE DOES NOT SUBMIT? THE GALL!

ZELENNE

Oooof!

GARION

Oh yes...By all means take your

time.

ZELENNE

Do you take this to be a mere

pageant?

GARION

Huh? What’s that? Speak up, pretty

boy.

ZELENNE

You. Will. Learn. Coward.

GARION

Choose your words well, lad. You

don’t have many left.

ZELENNE

We shall see.

Ugh!!!

GARION

Ugh, you coward, let go of my leg.

ZELENNE

Gladly.

GARION

Ahhhhhhh!

Alright, enough! Enough, I said!

ZELENNE

Choose your words well, lad. You

don’t have many left.

GARION

I’m laying down my arms. I submit!

Its over.

ZELENNE

Stay down.

True believers!! What say you?!

ZEALOTS

FINISH HIM! / END HIM! / SLAY THE

FALSE PROPHET! / NO MAN SHALL CROSS

THE CHOSEN AND LIVE!!

ZELENNE

So be It.

GARION

I concede!! I’m no threat to you!

You need not do this.

ZELENNE

You, have desecrated the

prophecies. You have no truth and

no honor, but you have proven to

me, this is a spectacle of

sorts...so you will understand.

GARION

No please, I will follow you.

You are the Chosen One!!

ZELENNE

Yes, I am.

ANNOUNCER

ZELENNE IS YOUR CHAMPION! HE

PROCEEDS TO THE NEXT ROUND!!

THE CROWD

ZE-LENNE! ZE-LENNE! ZE-LENNE!

SCENE BRAKE

JAILER

Ahh, tails.

Shit.

KEVIN

Many you should go back to sleep.

JAILER

Piss off.

KEVIN

Hey Jailer. Buddy? Who’s ZELENNE?

JAILER

Piss...off.

KEVIN

Who do you think he is?

ORA

I don’t care. What difference does

It make?

KEVIN

I think It matters. I mean, we’re

here, right? I kinda wanna’ know

whats going on.

ORA

I’m sure it’s not over yet.

KEVIN

I imagine this ZELENNE fellow is a

handsome, princely-type. The

people’s champion; kind,

compassionate, beloved. A man not

without his flaws, but humble in

the face of...

FORMOSA

Want to put money on It?

KEVIN

Oh Jailer? Who’s ZELENNE?

JAILER

Call It and I’ll tell you.

KEVIN

Oh no. I hate this. Um--

ORA

Tails.

JAILER

Lucky guess.

ZELENNE is one of this year’s

Zealot champions. That’s why

they’re so loud.

FORMOSA

Zealot champions?

JAILER

True believers. They’re like this

every year.

Real pain in my ass, too.

KEVIN

You hear that, Ora? They’re here

every year. You can’t take any of

this seriously?

ORA

All that I see is that I dragged

you all the way here only to find

this...this...whatever this is!

Everyone says they’re here to

“choose” a Chosen One, but most of

the people don’t even believe in

the Prophecy!

JAILER

Spoken like a true Zealot.

ORA

NO! It just means I’m an idiot for

believing any of the things about

the prophecy I’ve been told.

JAILER

HA ha! Well, I’m not in the habit

of disagreeing with people who say

thats that are true.

KEVIN

You’re not helping.

ORA

It’s fine, Kevin. oof. Look, I

appreciate you trying to help, but

this is about the worst I’ve ever

felt in my entire life.

Why did I do this to you? Why did I

do this to myself?

KEVIN

Stop It! Have you seen me? I’m

strong now.

And I can fight now, too!

Ah! Gah! Ooooooh... that... was not

smart.

JAILER

I wouldn’t fight the walls, kid.

They’ve bested better men than you.

ORA

That’s probably good advice.

JAILER

A’yup...

I know what it’s like.

(spits)

I used to buy into all the Prophecy

business before I got hooked up

with this job.

KEVIN

Really?

JAILER

Sure did. But now... I don’t know,

after seeing eight of these

tournaments, I’ve got my doubts.

KEVIN

There’s been EIGHT of these?

JAILER

(Chuckles)

No.

KEVIN

But you said...

JAILER

This is the tenth. I didn’t start

working till the third year.

FORMOSA

And you have them every year?

JAILER

Once a year, every year.

You know, when you say It like

that, It does sound a little silly

doesn't It. Having a tournament

EVERY YEAR to determine who is the

one true prophet.

KEVIN

Maybe you just haven’t had the

right champion yet.

JAILER

Works out nicely for business,

don’t It? We keep searching for the

‘right’ champion and I keep working

the jail every year.

ORA

What about the Zealots? Don’t they

get discouraged?

JAILER

Naw! Every year they all file in

‘ere with a half-dozen champions,

all of ‘em convinced they’s found

the One. If you’re comfortable

being called a ‘zealot’ I don’t

think you’re gonna let something as

minor as your prophecy feeling

wrong-ish get in your way. Heard

tell they’ll even tweak the

Prophecies to fit their strongest

fighters.

ORA

Tweak a Prophecy?

KEVIN

You can’t do that!

JAILER

They can and they do.

Shit...

All in the pursuit of the precious

Chosen One.

KEVIN

And they keep coming even though

their Prophecies keeps being wrong?

JAILER

(laughs)

Keep coming?

(laughs)

There’s more and more of ‘em every

year. And every year they get more

and more nuts.

Shit eaters, the lot of ‘em. They’r

usually who I get stuck talking to

in here.

ORA

But why? Why do they keep doing It

if the results are the same?

JAILER

Some people say there all under a

spell. Me? I got my own theory.

ORA

What?

JAILER

Listen, most people’s lives are

pretty shit, right now, right? Not

everybody gets to be the tournament

jailer - I know this. So, if your

life is shit, you don’t have any

real way of making It better, BUT

then you hear there’s this thing

that promises to make It incredibly

not shit. What are you gonna do?

Accept wall-to-wall shit? Or, maybe

you’re gonna believe in something

because the only alternative is--

ORA

Shit.

JAILER

Call It kid.

KEVIN

Heads.

JAILER

Hm...(Laughs) Looks like she’s

smarter than you.

SCENE BRAKE

LINUS

Ugh, excuse me, coming through.

That’s yours... What was all that

chanting? What’d I miss? Here.

ANN

Bloody Zealots.

LINUS

What’s a “zealot?”

VORLAUF

We’re not doing this again.

HAL

There’s two types’a people in this

world, Fuller.

ANN

Hal and everybody else.(Laughs)

HAL

‘ey! I’m tryin’ to be nice.

ANN

Nobody says ‘there’s two kinds of

people in this world’ unless

they’re completely full of shit.

VORLAUF

The Zealots believe, truly believe,

that their champion is a god. Not

just a man, a god.

HAL

Like I was just about to say!

And, this year, the biggest group

of them think ZELENNE is their’s as

far as they see It.

LINUS

What about everybody else?

HAL

There are smaller groups of Zealots

with different champions. Like,

some are with that woman, Lyanora,

from earlier. There’s a handful of

champions with a smatterin’ of

followers. And by the end of this

thing, all those groups will fight

each other in the streets.

LINUS

So all these fighters...?

HAL

Nah, most of the fighters are

Mercenaries. Former

Vigiles...future Vigiles.

VORLAUF

It’s purely for money and the sport

of It. If a combatant survives, he

can make a decent living in service

of a benefactor.

ANN

The longer they last...

HAL

The bigger the starting salary.

(MORE)

LINUS

And if you lose they probably just

kill you?

Like that guy?

VORLAUF

The Zealots often fight to the

death. Bit of a chip on their

shoulder about people claiming to

be “The One” when they aren’t.

Ironic, isn’t It?

HAL

Hey, Ann? You hear what I said?

Future Vigiles?

ANN

Yeah, hilarious.

HAL

...got a bit of trivia for ya’.

This tournament is where we found

Ann.

LINUS

Really?

ANN

Oh right it’s a great story. I was

here. Vorlauf was here. Vorlauf

said, “Here’s money to be a

Vigile.” And I said, “Okay.”

There. Happy?

VORLAUF

She was ferocious. Could have won

the whole thing.

ANN

Can we talk about something else?

HAL

Don’t be so modest, Ann.

You would not believe how many

Zealots this one killed. Took one

look at those true believers and

said “I got your Prophecy right

here”. (Laughs)

They was all “Please, don’t do It!

I pledge myself to you, mysterious

warrior!” Didn’t matta’. She cut

‘em down.

HAL (CONT'D)

Weren’t for Vorlauf here, she’d

have even more pelts on her wall.

So to speak.

VORLAUF

Really, Ann, it’s nothing to be

ashamed of. You made the smart

decision. This is wonderful

theater, but it’s no way to make a

living. These fools and their

Prophecies...embarrassing.

ANN

Nothing wrong with believing in

something.

HAL

But these Zealots? Oh Come on!

Couldn’t have made them look more

foolish. Not only that, but by

leaving for the money you proved

you wasn’t the Chosen One THEREFORE

proving that the ones you killed

wasn’t even killed by the Chosen

One neither! It’s all bloody

hysterical!

ANN

Yeah. Hilarious.

HAL AND LINUS

(laugh)

SCENE BRAKE

ISTEN

(Laughing)

Who, but I? Isten!

The Chosen One. (Laughs)

Ah, well. The disarmingly handsome

Chosen One. (chuckles)

KARRAS

You really like looking at that

mirror.

ISTEN

(startled)

What do you want?

KARRAS

Why did you leave me?

ISTEN

Leave you?

(chuckle)

That’s rich, Karras. You’re lucky

I’m just coming off a win in the

arena. Or did you forget that I’m

in the midst of a very important

tournament?

KARRAS

My horse died, Isten! Imogen died!!

And you left us...you Left us to

fend for ourselves against the

currupted.

ISTEN

I’m pretty sure that It was you

that abandoned me. Or are you

forgetting that you refused to help

me take the Prophecies? Prophecies

that were mine by right.

KARRAS

Well, it’s just...I-I couldn’t-

ISTEN

Right, exactly. You couldn’t.

Karras, I’ve got to say, this

tournament and my victory have

blessed me with new-found clarity.

KARRAS

I knew you would win.

ISTEN

Yes. And I now know a profound

truth: I am all I need.

And you, Karras, well, you are no

longer needed.

KARRAS

But...friends...

ISTEN

Sure, sure. But, I can no longer

trust you. So you no longer serve

any purpose, friend or not.

(deep inhale, exhale)

You understand, don’t you? It’s

just how It needs to be. If I’m

ever to fulfill my destiny I simply

must do It on my own.

(MORE)

KARRAS

So, that’s It? Goodbye, Karras?

ISTEN

Yes.

If It is any consolation, I am

pleased you are still alive.

Unless...

KARRAS

Yes?

ISTEN

While I do feel my truth is the

same, I hate to see you aimless and

without purpose. So, out of an

abundance of kindness, I suppose I

could think of one way you could

possibly regain your place by my

side.

KARRAS

Yes! Of course!

ISTEN

I’ve had a bit of trouble offloading

that second Prophecy. Turns

out demand inside the arena is not

as high as I would have hoped.

Anyway, there’s only one potential

buyer and they’ve made the

transaction rather...difficult.

KARRAS

You...You want me to kill them?

ISTEN

Oh, how you do enjoy going the

extra mile. No, in fact, I do want

to sell this man the Prophecy,

however, he refuses to meet me on

neutral ground. He insists that It

be brought to his camp, which is

full of his soldiers.

KARRAS

So it’s a trap.

ISTEN

It may be. But, that is a risk you

need to be willing to take for me,

Karras.

ISTEN (CONT'D)

I’m going to win this tournament,

and if you want to dwell in the

shadow of my glory, I need to know

you are willing to look past your

current, petty displeasure.

KARRAS

Sell It to him and bring back the

money?

ISTEN

Would the chosen one accept any

less?

KARRAS

Done.

ISTEN

And that was the last we ever saw

of Karras.

SCENE BRAKE

KEVIN

...but at least you agree that it’s

stupid to keep us in here, right?

JAILER

UGH! Don’t you ever stop talking?

I’m goin’ outside.

KEVIN

Wait you cant just leave! THERE’S,

THERE’S NOTHING TO DO IN HERE! ALL

WE HAVE IS THAT STUPID COIN! AND I

ALREADY HAD MY TURN!

ORA

The cheering is pretty loud.

KEVIN

Look, we’re gonna get out of here.

I promise. Just...follow my lead.

(Whistles “The Walking Song”)

See? Follow. My. Lead.

With the digging.

ORA

Look, I appreciate you trying but

we’re not getting out of here any

time soon. We’re done.

KEVIN

I don’t believe that. You believed

in me when I didn’t and I’m not

giving up yet.

ORA

Kevin, that’s nice, but I don’t

think digging a hole is--

KEVIN

HAHAH!

DON’T BE CRAZY, ORA! WE’RE JUST

HAVING A FUN STORY TIME! WE SURE

ARE GLAD THAT FAT, STUPID JAILER

LEFT SO WE CAN JUST ENJOY OURSELVES

WITHOUT HIS...WHOLE...UGLY FACE...

JAILER

Hey!

KEVIN

Oh, hi. Uh...you see, the point of

the story wasn’t that you’re fat,

so much as...

JAILER

Alright. You three, are good to go.

KEVIN

Oh... Well you are kind of fat.

FORMOSA

Why? What did we do?

KEVIN

Not that we aren’t upset we had our

time wasted in this place. But,

uhm, what happened?

KARRAS

Me squires! I was wondering what

may have happened to you.

KEVIN

Karras, what the hell are you doi--

ORA

Of course, sire. Thank you, sire.

There was a mix-up and without the

Prophecy as proof, nobody would

take our word.

JAILER

Look, most people say they’ve got a

Prophecy. It’s just most people are

liars. I’m...sorry, really, for the

mix-up

KARRAS

Come then. We’ve got a tournament

to win.

END OF EPISODE 16